Maria Sky

Firstly I heard this voice when I was in my 20s.

It was saying : there is something better than this way of living”

I didn’t understand what it was trying to say really but started noticing this itchy feeling that something is not quite right and I am in the wrong place ,that I do not belong here,that something is disconnected . 

I started questioning entire system I was raised with.

Born in Russia I grew up with a lots of unhealthy conditioning around dynamic between man and woman,aka “what man should and what women should “ that i inherited from one generation to another , toxic sexuality where there was no place for real pleasure to arise as mostly it was rooted in pleasing a man so I can keep him or get what I want. 

Yes this was a way of thinking. It was pretty strategical and ran by survival mechanism.

There was no time or place for real authentic connections. 

I ll be honest with you it was mostly a “dirty contract” type of relationships for me . 

Relationships with other women were also far from deep trust and support one another ,so it developed a lots of insecurity ,competition and comperasment .  

All those programs got me in a lot of pain and suffering . One failed relationship after another ,one broken friendship after another . Slowly but surely traumas accumulated in my body and in my Yoni.

I was reeling less and less pleasure and love and more and more pain,loneliness and anger .

All that lead me to the place of self doubt ,made me question if I am worthy of love at all and brought deep emptiness to my heart.

I left Russia to UK London at age 21 and next 10 years I was there studying,living,partying . 

It did feel like a change and some things definitely felt fresher but the emptiness was still growing bigger and bigger inside of me.

Firstly I tried to substitute it with shopping ,than meaningless connections,sex without intimacy , food,alcohol…and even drugs.

The voice got very strong around my Saturn return at age 30.

Here I reached a point where I was engaged to a man where relationships were very unhealthy and codependent ,rooted in entertainment and consumerism together and lucking real deep intimacy. 

Before I got married and said Yes to continue living life like that something inside of me screamed out loud ENOUGH and sooner than I could even process I was split up with this man,moved out of the house ,gave away all my belongings to the charity,sold most expensive pieces so I could have some savings and was on my way to India with a back back and one way ticket.

Something was calling me but I didn’t know what exactly .What I knew is that there is no way back and it’s time for a change .

I left London and never came back.

On my travels to India ,Asia and Mexico I went deeper into yoga practice and meditation . I was reconnecting to myself and healing my wounds.

For some years this was the way to nurture myself and purify.It became a life style.

Yet there was still some gaps in my heart and longing for something else .

It was a longing for connection,for sense of belonging . 

To be seen and heard for all those times when I wasn’t and be fully welcomed the way I am .

This longing lead me into Tantra when I saw big poster of two human placing their hands on each other hearts ,something inside me resonated and said “that’s it. This is what you are looking for “

Just like that I got myself a ticket to my first tantra festival in Ibiza ,guided by great spirit and following my heart.

That week changed my life.

I discovered mew way of being.

Fir the first time in my life I felt belonging and home .

I felt welcome and cried rivers of tears releasing all the pain that I accumulated for my life .

I met new tribe,community of loving people who made me feel strong and loved.

I met inspiring women who made me feel empowered.

After releasing all the emotions suddenly there was so much space for pleasure .

Pleasure I never experienced before .

I became more sensitive to the touch.

And all of this happened in just one week.

That’s it . I knew this is my path and there is no way back. I knew it’s only the beginning.

Next 5 years I was traveling around the world exploring different conscious communities ,studying tantra and different modalities . 

I was shading the old skins and constantly going though Rebirth process . Transforming into new person,better version of myself .

A lot of light came in together with lots of darkness.

I spend some years doing the Shadow work. Accepting and loving the parts in me that I neglected and reflected for so many years. A lot of healing and de conditioning came through for my psyche and in my sexuality. 

The way I relate to humans,sisters,brothers,lovers.

I realised how much I was holding in my body and in my Yoni and I did everything I could to release and dearmour.

On this path I discovered tantric massage and it dramatically changed my entire life .

I met a beautiful man who later became my husband and together we dived deep into arts of tantric massage. We helped each other to clear a lots of old stagnant energy ,numbness and open up for pleasure again. To return back to innocence .

Later we separated as husband and wife but stayed connected in our hearts forever as beloveds and dear friends .

I continued by myself exploring this topic and got inspired to create my own course from everything that I learned before .

This days I am happy to share my Tantric massage courses online for man and women and I teach yoga,tantra,meditation ,Tao wherever I go.

Tantra became a life style too.

Living from the heart is what my attitude to this life is .